Children Need Hope
One of the greatest ways that you can help a child who has ADHD is to provide hope. God has a prescription for hope in Romans 5:4-5, “Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Notice that hope comes from character, which comes from perseverance, which comes from suffering. Children need a plan for dealing with the suffering they experience. In fact, suffering can be the key to hope, if the child responds well. Your job is to help your child develop a plan for his or her suffering. Once children begin to respond to suffering with perseverance, then they will see character developing. That character will be encouraging and hope is the natural by product.
The suffering may be working harder to complete a homework assignment. Or it may be standing still in line at the bank. It may be controlling one’s hands at the store; or staying on task to clean up the toys without playing. Suffering happens everyday in the life of a child with ADHD. Being coached to respond to the suffering with perseverance can make all the difference.
The key is to have a good plan. In fact, once you have a plan for your child then you can help him or her develop the tools to deal with the struggles. Furthermore, once you have a plan, you can increase the pressure so that your child has opportunity to practice the plan, further strengthening the character.
The basis to developing a plan is to focus on character development. In short, you want to raise the character threshold in your child. A threshold is the level at which a child is able to handle a particular challenge such as an irritation, temptation, or distraction. When the threshold is low, the child falls victim to even small challenges, but as the threshold is raised the child has a greater ability to cope.
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The Coffee Illustration
If you’re a coffee drinker you understand this concept of a threshold. You like to get that coffee pot going early in the morning so that you can have your first cup before life starts coming at you. Why? Because the caffeine raises your threshold level so that you can think more clearly and respond better to the challenges you face.
A number of medications are available to raise the threshold for the child who has ADHD. We are not medical doctors. We don’t prescribe medications nor do we evaluate them. However, we do know this. The long-term solution is to raise the character threshold and as you work to develop it in your child you will see significant growth for the long run.
Time is Your Enemy or Your Ally
The plan for character development is crucial. Each child is different, needing specific tools and strategies included in the plan. Some people say, “I’m hoping he’ll just grow out of it,” but most children don’t grow out of bad patterns. They grow into them, resulting in demandingness, manipulation, and poor anger control. If you don’t have a plan, then time is your enemy. It’s like a child who breaks a bone. Time is your enemy until you get to the doctor and the bone is set and put in a cast. Once the bone is in the cast, then time is your friend. It takes time for healing to take place. The same is true for character development. It takes time but you first must be working your plan in order for time to be your ally.
We Can Help You Develop a Plan
Creating a character development plan is so important. We have several resources to help you do just that. You’re in this for the long term. Your child needs your help. We have developed several parenting tools that break things down into small pieces. We know that a child who has ADHD needs instructions in small steps. Here are the resources we use in our counseling practice to help these kids and you can use them at home as well.
The best way to help these kids is for parents to get into the Biblical Parenting Coaching Program. It’s an 8 week individualized program that gives you home therapy strategies that train children to make significant changes.
We’ve designed a Strategic Reading Plan to guide you through these six books in ten weeks. You can download it here.
You may want to attend a live parenting seminar in your area. You also may want some help developing a specific action plan for your child by scheduling a phone coaching consultation with Dr. Scott Turansky. And don’t forget to sign up for free email parenting tips if you haven’t done so already.
We know that it’s not just kids who lose hope, but parents also feel hopeless at times. We want to be there for you. Please take advantage of these resources and look for additional tools by stopping by here often. We’d love to be a continual source of encouragement for you as you do the difficult work of parenting.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is Real
The children who experience Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder need help. If you’re the parent of this child, you’re the person God has placed in your child’s life to provide the hope, encouragement, and growth needed to cope in today’s society.
We believe parents are the best therapists for their children if they have a good plan. We’ve spent years developing a heart-based approach that produces significant results when it is practiced intentionally and positively.
A lot of people who have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder go on to do great things. They often become leaders, inventors, and public personalities. The challenge is how to raise this child to have the character necessary to be the person God intended. There are many things that you can do, and now is the time to begin.
Josh Turansky is the son of Dr. Scott Turansky and he is a pastor and a national radio host. Josh struggled with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as a child. You might want to listen to the podcast of Josh interviewing his father on the subject of ADHD, recorded as Josh looks back on his life growing up.
ADHD fall under the umbrella of Neurobehavioral Disorders. In short, the brain’s chemical transmissions aren’t functioning efficiently enough to allow for clear concentration to take place. This child then is easily distracted by internal and external stimuli while trying to accomplish simple tasks like listening to a teacher, cleaning up a mess, or going on an errand.
In short, these children often find thinking to be hard work, and if they don’t have the internal character to overcome the challenge, they tend to fail. However, when parents practice exercises with their children, theses kids learn the coping skills necessary to be successful.
Children who have ADHD are magnets for correction because they are often doing the wrong thing. They commonly live with a lot of frustration and often have explosive anger. Some children with ADHD also struggle with social cues, not picking up on the fact that they are annoying or irritating others.
Motivate Your Child
A Christian Parent’s Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told
Children with ADD or ADHD need to develop internal motivation. Specifically they need to develop that uncomforable feeling we call obligation that becoms strong enough to overcome their urges. This obligation is formed and developed in the conscience of a child.
This book takes you step by step through each area of the conscience to understand it and parent in a way that helps strengthen this internal guidance system designed by God. Spiritual development is also addressed in ways that help kids maximize their spiritual growth.
You will have a greater understanding of your child’s challenges and specific tools for casting a vision for change.
208 pages. $19.99
Motivate Your Child: Action Plan
Along your parenting journey, you’ll need plans to overcome specific, deep, challenges that your child experiences. This plan will help you address problems such as Reactive Attachment Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, as well as disrespect and arguing disorders.
You can call these things disorders if you like, but the solution has to do with teaching children how to address their tendencies and actually change them.
Using the same strategies God uses with his children, this book outlines a specific ACTION PLAN to develop for any child of any age with any problem. You’ll learn how to use five components to address the tendencies of a child’s heart.
The book comes with 12 audio sessions and outlines 12 meetings to have with your child to address character. 164 pages, $39.95
Parenting is Heart Work
Most kids with ADD or ADHD don’t respond to the typical reward/punishment models that are out there. A heart-based approach is far more effective. All parents want to reach the hearts of their kids, but what is the heart? This book shares the results of a study that examines the 750 times the word “heart” is used in the Bible and first asks the question, “What is the heart?” Parents find the conclusions insightful and empowering.
Then the book asks an important application question, “If that’s what the heart is, then how do we parent differently?” As parents read this book, they gain greater understanding into the heart and life of their own child, resulting in significant action steps that encourage change.
184 pages, $17.99
Parenting is Heart Work Training Manual
The routines you have in family life are strategic for heart change If you use them as therapy for character development. This one manual will guide you through an important process to develop the therapy routines in your home in common areas.
Rebuilding the heart of a child takes place in small pieces over time. The Instruction Routine, for example, teaches kids cooperation, responsiveness to authority, and responsibility. It’s not just about changing the way you give instructions. It’s about practicing the Instruction Routine over and over every day to build patterns of thinking and acting. This step alone teaches children how to focus and stay on task.
Three chapters on correction help parents reach the hearts of their kids using a Break, a Positive Conclusion, and 7 Categories of Consequences. Attitudes, and Accepting No as an Answer each take a chapter.
By practicing these techniques, heart issues in kids are addressed one step at at time.
The book comes with eight 45-minute audio sessions that complement the chapters.
212 pages, $49.95
Say Goodbye to Whining in You and Your Kids
All kids need honor but those who have ADD/ADHD benefit from it tremendously. Honor addresses selfishness and many of its manifestations. For every form of selfishness, there’s an honor-based solution.
We aren’t suggesting that the root cause of ADD is selfishness, but it is true that becoming more aware of others and focusing on what others need helps these kids make huge strides in their progress.
Kids with ADD/ADHD often end up with relational challenges and the biblical concept of honor is an excellent solution. It helps parents focus on the positive trait a child needs to develop instead of focusing on the negative traits kids need to get rid of.
196 pages, $14.99
Kids Honor Club
Using activities, Bible stories, crafts, games, and snack ideas, kids ages 3-12 learn in practical terms what it means to be an honoring person. Most children with ADD/ADHD learn best through experience. Lectures rarely produce lasting benefit. So this experience-based approach to learning the concept of honor can go a long way to teach it.
Kids learn to address their anger, speech, and meanness. They learn what honor is and how to implement it in daily life.
86 page Workbook, $29.95
$172.82 retail price