Adoption Is a Beautiful Journey. It‘s Also One of the Hardest Things You’ll Ever Do

Adoption is one of the most beautiful and complex journeys a family can take. You chose this child. You loved them before you even knew them. And you quickly discovered that loving a child and knowing how to parent them are two very different things.

Adoptive families face unique challenges. Attachment, trauma, identity, grief, behaviors that seem disconnected from anything you’ve done. You need tools that understand the specific landscape of adoption – not just generic parenting advice.

The heart-based approach is especially powerful in this context because it goes deep enough to address what’s really happening inside your child. The resources here are a starting point.

A PERSONAL NOTE ABOUT ADOPTION FROM DR. SCOTT TURANSKY

I have a lot to say about adoption, not only because Carrie and I adopted two girls into our family, but also because I work with many adoptive families and have done quite a bit of research on the challenges of adoption.

In short, I believe that all children who are adopted experience heart damage because the person who bore them is not the same as the one who is raising them. That damage occurs in several areas of the heart, but most of the time involves the conscience.

The conscience prompts a person in four areas: Do What’s Right, Deal With Wrongs, Be Honest, and Care About Others. Not all of the areas of the conscience are always affected, and many adopted kids have significant strengths along with their weaknesses.

Sometimes adopted children simply need a loving home and God uses that to heal the brokenness. But I find that many of these children need more specific work to rebuild the damaged areas of the heart. I commend you for your ministry heart and willingness to rescue a child from the challenging past. We are ministers together in the true sense of the word, giving of ourselves, often more than we ever expected, in order to use our families as a place of healing and growth.

As I work with adopted kids, I draw from three of our curriculum at the same time. I’ve created this web page for adopted parents to understand the specific parts of our curriculum and why they’re helpful. I believe that most children need therapy and that parents are the best therapists for their kids if they have a good plan.

My goal is to provide the therapy strategies for parents so that they can work strategically with their kids. Below I explain why these books and tools are most helpful. These are not just books though. We call them curriculum because they are programs you implement in your home.

Each of these tools walks you through a process to implement change in your child, in you, and in the dynamics that exist in your home. I trust that God will use these resources to empower you on your journey. It’s not an easy one, but it is rewarding to serve the Lord as an adoptive parent.

We’ve designed a Strategic Reading Plan to guide you through these six books in ten weeks. You can download it here.

Click here to order all 6 books and SAVE 20%

Motivate Your Child

A Christian Parent’s Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told

Children who are adopted often experience damage in the conscience. The four promptings of the conscience often need support and guidance by parents. They are Do What’s Right, Deal With Wrongs, Be Honest, and Care About Others.

We take you step by step through each area of the conscience to understand it and parent in a way that helps strengthen this internal guidance system designed by God. Spiritual development is also addressed in ways that help kids maximize their spiritual growth.

You will have a greater understanding of your child’s challenges and specific tools for casting a vision for change.

Price: $16.99

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Motivate Your Child: Action Plan

Along your adoption journey, you’ll need plans to overcome specific, deep, challenges that your child has. This plan will help you address problems such as Reactive Attachment Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, as well as disrespect and arguing disorders.

Using the same strategies God uses with his children, this book outlines a specific ACTION PLAN to develop for any child of any age with any problem. You’ll learn how to use five components to address the tendencies of a child’s heart.

The book comes with 12 audio sessions and outlines 12 meetings to have with your child to address character.

Price: $39.95

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Parenting is Heart Work

Most adopted kids don’t respond to the typical reward/punishment models that are out there. A heart-based approach is far more effective.

All parents want to reach the hearts of their kids, but what is the heart? This book shares the results of a study that examines the 750 times the word “heart” is used in the Bible and first asks the question, “What is the heart?” Parents find the conclusions insightful and empowering.

Then the book asks an important application question, “If that’s what the heart is, then how do we parent differently?” As parents read this book, they gain greater understanding into the heart and life of their own child, resulting in significant action steps that encourage change.

Price: $16.99

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Parenting is Heart Work Training Manual

The routines you have in family life are strategic for heart change If you use them as therapy for character development. This one manual will guide you through an important process to develop the therapy routines in your home in common areas.

Rebuilding the heart of a child takes place in small pieces over time. The Instruction Routine, for example, teaches kids cooperation, responsiveness to authority, and responsibility. It’s not just about changing the way you give instructions. It’s about practicing the Instruction Routine over and over every day to build patterns of thinking and acting.

Three chapters on correction help parents reach the hearts of their kids using a Break, a Positive Conclusion, and 7 Categories of Consequences. Attitudes, and Accepting No as an Answer each take a chapter.

By practicing these techniques, heart issues in kids are addressed one step at at time.

The book comes with eight 45-minute audio sessions that complement the chapters.

Price: $49.95

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Say Goodbye to Whining in You and Your Kids

All kids need honor but those who are adopted benefit from it tremendously. Honor addresses selfishness and many of its manifestations. For every form of selfishness, there’s an honor-based solution.

Adopted kids often end up with relational challenges and the biblical concept of honor is an excellent solution. It helps parents focus on the positive trait a child needs to develop instead of focusing on the negative traits kids need to get rid of.

Price: $14.99

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Kids Honor Club

Using activities, Bible stories, crafts, games, and snack ideas, kids ages 3-12 learn in practical terms what it means to be an honoring person.

Many children who are adopted learn best through experience. Lectures rarely produce lasting benefit. So this experience-based approach to learning the concept of honor can go a long way to teach it.

Kids learn to address their anger, speech, and meanness. They learn what honor is and how to implement it in daily life.

Price: $29.95

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Get the whole Adoption Package for $135.00

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$167.82 retail price

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Ready to Go Deeper? These Courses Were Built for Parents Like You

The Biblical Parenting MasterClass gives you a heart-based framework that works beautifully for adoptive families. You’ll learn how to address attachment and trust at the heart level, how to parent through challenging behaviors without damaging the relationship, and how to help your child develop the internal qualities they need to thrive. The Honor course gives adoptive children a positive vision for relationships that can be genuinely transforming. The EPEK course helps you build a strong spiritual foundation and a secure sense of identity. And if screens are adding complication to an already complex picture, the Technology Wellness course gives you a clear strategy.

>> Explore the Biblical Parenting MasterClass

>> Discover the Honor course

>> Learn about the EPEK course

>> Learn about Technology Wellness at Home