Parenting Preschoolers – An Adventure for parents and kids

Your preschooler is changing faster than you can keep up with. One moment they’re asking thoughtful questions about God. The next they’re melting down because their toast was cut into rectangles instead of triangles.

Children are a gift from the Lord, but knowing how to care for your precious gift takes real skill. These years between 2 and 5 are genuinely some of the most important of your child’s entire development. Their brains are forming fast. Their hearts are developing tendencies and patterns that will affect who they become. The choices you make as a parent right now are not small.

That’s both exciting and a little daunting. But you don’t have to navigate it alone. We have a lot of resources to help you work with your child between ages 2 and 5 – and this page will walk you through the best ones.

We have a lot of resources to help you work with your child between the ages of 2 and 5 years. This page will guide you through the many resources we offer so you can find the best ones to suit your needs.

You might want to start with Preschool Explorers, a book that contains many ideas for working with young children using a heart-based approach. This book helps you understand your preschooler. Developing responsiveness to authority and self-control are two key heart qualities to work on at this stage. Preschool Explorers shows you how to do this using your everyday interactions.

Your child is in a stage of rapid physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual growth. It’s important to be prepared for the many opportunities provided. In these preschool years you can do a lot to help your child build strong heart qualities that will last throughout the rest if his or her life.

The heart is the place where we wrestle with things and experience desires, temptation, and emotion. It’s the place where children feel conviction of sin and hold beliefs that will dictate much of their behavior. The heart is also the place where God works, so introducing your child to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is important at this age. To understand more about what’s happening in your child’s heart at this age – and how to parent in a way that reaches it – the Parenting is Heart Work course is essential reading. It’ll change the way you see your child’s behavior and give you a strategy that produces lasting change. If you’d like to read a fun book that contains over 70 contributed stories about how parents connect with their children on a heart level, you’ll want to look at the Family Heart Moments Book.

You might also want to look at the Parenting Preschoolers Toolkit. It contains a beautiful Bible with 200 Bible stories just for kids. it also has three posters providing milestones for three, four, and five year olds including suggestions for spiritual growth as well. In addition, a booklet entitled, Preschool Explorers, gives a few chapters written by us about how to work strategically with that age. It’s a portion of the full book featured below

Here are some different categories of resources we have to offer as you maneuver through the preschool years.

1. Helpful Patterns for Instruction and Correction

It’s important to build good patterns in the preschool years. Keep two primary heart qualities in mind, self-control and responsiveness to authority. These two qualities are particularly important to develop at this stage.

Often you’ll teach these and other qualities to your preschooler using routines and games. We’re not referring to schedule routines although they’re also important. We’re talking about relational routines, such as having a good plan for giving instructions, correcting, using consequences, ending correction times well, dealing with anger, accepting no as an answer, addressing attitudes, changing from one activity to another, sibling conflict, and a host of other every day experiences that face parents and their children.

To help you develop effective and healthy relating patterns you’ll want to consider the Heart Work Training Manual and 8 Audio Sessions. This set of eight lessons contains a wealth of tools that will help you step-by-step, to correct bad patterns or just start new good routines in family life. Once you’ve listened to these downloadable audio sessions and worked through the chapters, you may want to use the children’s curriculum we created called The Treasure Hunters to teach these new ideas to your children. The lessons for children’s contain Bible stories, crafts, activities, games, object lessons, and snacks that all have a lesson about family life. The reason it’s called The Treasure Hunters is because God has hidden treasure in family life, and when you learn these routines, you’ll be more successful at handling challenges outside the family both now and in the future. For example, children need to learn how to set their agenda aside and follow instructions so that they will be a better team member or employee as they get older. Furthermore, once you learn how to follow instructions you’ll be able to listen to the instructions of God as well. There are five skills everyone needs to learn when following instructions. These are learned in the home. The five-step instruction routine is taught in the Heart Work Training Manual and 8 Audio Sessions and developed for children in The Treasure Hunters.

2. Teaching Children to Honor

Another resource that will help you set up good patterns with your preschoolers is the concept of honor. We define honor as treating people as special, doing more than what’s expected, and having a good attitude. That definition is so important and you can use it every day. You may want to download the free poster on honor and print it out for your child.

One of the most powerful tools you can give your preschooler is the concept of honor. We define honor as treating people as special, doing more than what’s expected, and having a good attitude. Those three things address most of what makes the preschool years hard. The Honor course takes this concept and shows you how to teach it in a way that preschoolers can actually understand and live out. The concept of honor is also developed in our book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, in You and Your Kids. Honor is not only for children but it’s also for parents. In fact, honor deals with how we relate together and how we get things done. Obedience is important and you might like to download the free poster on obedience, but honor is like oil in a machine helping to reduce friction and make things work more smoothly. Honor addresses sibling conflict and helps children learn to do more than what’s expected along with a host of other ways to get children thinking outside themselves. Preschoolers generally tend to be selfish and self-focused. Honor teaches them to think about others.

Another resource for teaching honor to children is the Kids Honor Club. Thirteen lessons are full of activities, games, Bible stories, crafts, snack ideas and scripture to teach children about honor. When your children join the Kids Honor Club they learn to add energy to family life, rather than drain it out. Most of all, honor is fun because when you honor others you see the delight on their faces.

3. Spiritual Training of Preschoolers

Moms and dads are the primary spiritual trainer for their children. Although you might find support and help from the church, friends, or preschool, don’t miss the tremendous opportunity and responsibility of training your kids spiritually.

We have a whole set of books to help you lead exciting devotion times with your kids. They’re called the Family Time Activities books. Six books make up this series but two of them, in particular, are designed for families with preschoolers. It only takes about 20-30 minutes, once a week to have a formal family time but those activities and discussions provide you with many more opportunities during the week to share spiritual lessons with your children as you see how that week’s lesson applies to daily life. Each book begins with instructions about how to have a Family Time, or you can listen to the Teaching Spiritual Truths MP3.

4. Specific Problems You Might Encounter

Maybe you’re running into some specific problems with your preschooler. Click on a categories below to learn ways to address the problem you’re facing. Some of these links will lead to resources already mentioned above but may help you by pointing out what chapters or which MP3 might best address your concern.

5. Additional Parenting Support

We know that parents sometimes feel overwhelmed or feel lost when it comes to the challenges they face. You’re doing the best that you can but you know that the particular problem you’re facing needs some additional wisdom. We offer several tools to help you.

First, please take a moment to sign up for free email parenting tips. They come into your inbox a couple times a week and provide you with ideas and encouragement to parent your child’s heart.

We have a closed, personalized group focused on heart-based parenting. It’s made up of coaches and parents who are committed to raising their children from a biblical, practical approach. We encourage you to checkout Thriving Kids Connection to learn more.

Another resource would be to attend a live parenting seminar. The National Center for Biblical Parenting offers several different parenting seminars that can help you grow. These professional teachers provide training for you in specific areas. See if there is a seminar scheduled in your area.

Parents often benefit from individual, one-on-one help. Dr. Scott Turansky and his team of coaches offer phone coaching for parents across the country. It’s during this stage of parenting that parents often benefit from the 8-week Biblical Parenting Coaching Program. It’s a powerful parent training mentorship program under the leadership of a coach whom you meet with each week over the phone.

At the National Center for Biblical Parenting we’re continually looking for new and helpful ideas and strategies to support you in your parenting. We have new products coming out regularly and we’d love to keep you informed about them. Please stop by often to see what’s new or sign up for free email parenting tips to hear about the latest developments.

Preschool Explorers

Parenting Wisdom for Ages 3-5 Years
by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN
with Diane Snyder

In this book, you’ll learn what a heart-based approach to parenting looks like for the preschool years.

When toddlers become preschoolers, they need a different kind of parenting. Learn about this important stage of development and what you can do to adjust. In this book you’ll learn practical ways to help your child grow socially, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. The ways you parent right now are foundational to your child’s future.

You will learn:

How to address your preschooler’s emotional intensity
Relational skills to teach through sibling and friend interaction
Important bed time strategies
The value of chores and how to implement them
Ways to enhance spiritual growth in your child
How to maximize play for intellectual development
A strategy for mealtimes
and much more

As you use this book to work with your preschooler you’ll not only find strategies for your parenting, but you’ll use the scriptures to keep your heart focused on the Lord.

Order eBook Now $9.99 Order Paperback Now $14.99

Looking for a complete strategy that works now and grows with your family?

The Biblical Parenting MasterClass gives you the full heart-based parenting framework in practical video format. At this stage in particular you’ll learn how to build patterns of cooperation, how to handle emotional intensity, and how to reach your child’s heart instead of just managing the behavior.

Explore the Biblical Parenting MasterClass

Here are other resources targeted for specific ages

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: My preschooler asks ‘why’ after everything I say. It’s driving me crazy. Is this normal?

A: Completely normal and honestly a really good sign. Your preschooler is developing reasoning skills and learning how the world works. It can feel endless, and it’s okay to set a limit on it. But try to stay curious with them when you can. That habit of asking why is something you actually want to nurture, not squash.

Q: My 4-year-old started lying and it really worries me. What do I do?

A: Lying at this age is actually a sign of cognitive development, not a character crisis. Your child is figuring out that they can influence what you think. The goal is to begin building a conscience around honesty. Talk about truth telling, celebrate it when you see it, and respond to lying calmly but clearly. Over time with consistent teaching, this gets much better.

Q: My preschooler doesn’t care about consequences at all. Nothing works. What am I doing wrong?

A: You’re probably not doing anything wrong. Preschoolers are still learning how cause and effect work, and their ability to connect future consequences to present behavior is still developing. The key is to make consequences immediate, connected to the behavior, and consistent. But equally important is that you’re spending a lot of time teaching and practicing, not just correcting.

Q: How do I teach a 4-year-old self-control?

A: Self-control is a skill and it needs to be practiced, not just demanded. Simple games like ‘freeze,’ taking turns, waiting for a snack, and role-playing better responses are all great ways to build it. Little moments throughout the day add up. When you practice it playfully, kids develop it without even realizing they’re being trained.

Q: Bedtime is a nightmare every single night. I dread it. Is there hope?

A: Yes, there really is hope. The key is routine and predictability. When kids know exactly what to expect at bedtime, the anxiety and stalling decrease significantly. Build a consistent sequence, bath, books, prayer, lights out, and stick to it. It may take a couple of weeks of hard nights before it clicks, but the consistency pays off.

Q: My child throws a fit every time I say no. How do I stay firm without losing my mind?

A: First, make sure you’re staying calm yourself because your emotional state matters more than anything you say. Hold your boundary. Then after things calm down, have a short conversation about what a better response looks like. Over time those short conversations after the storm build something real. Don’t expect change overnight but do expect it eventually.

Q: My preschooler is having a hard time sharing and playing with other kids. Should I be worried?

A: Sharing is hard for preschoolers because developmentally they’re still pretty self-focused. It’s not selfishness in the adult sense. It’s just where they are. The good news is this is a very teachable age for social skills. Role-play, coach them through it in the moment, and give lots of positive reinforcement when you see them doing it well.

Q: What spiritual habits should I be building in my preschooler right now?

A: Preschoolers are wonderfully open spiritually. Simple prayers, short Bible stories before bed, and talking about God naturally throughout the day is all you need. You don’t need a formal curriculum. You just need to make faith part of everyday life. What they absorb in these years often stays with them for the rest of their lives.

Parenting Preschoolers – An Adventure for parents and kids

Here are some different categories of resources we have to offer as you maneuver through the preschool years.

1. Helpful Patterns for Instruction and Correction

2. Teaching Children to Honor

3. Spiritual Training of Preschoolers

4. Specific Problems You Might Encounter

5. Additional Parenting Support

Preschool Explorers

Looking for a complete strategy that works now and grows with your family?

Here are other resources targeted for specific ages

Infants

Toddlers

Preschoolers

Elementary Age

Pre-Teen

Teens

Adult Kids

HANDBOOK

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: My preschooler asks ‘why’ after everything I say. It’s driving me crazy. Is this normal?

Q: My 4-year-old started lying and it really worries me. What do I do?

Q: My preschooler doesn’t care about consequences at all. Nothing works. What am I doing wrong?

Q: How do I teach a 4-year-old self-control?

Q: Bedtime is a nightmare every single night. I dread it. Is there hope?

Q: My child throws a fit every time I say no. How do I stay firm without losing my mind?

Q: My preschooler is having a hard time sharing and playing with other kids. Should I be worried?

Q: What spiritual habits should I be building in my preschooler right now?

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