Recognizing that children are at different stages of maturity, it’s important to discuss sex and related issues in a way that’s appropriate for a child’s age and development. Parents set an open atmosphere with their kids by talking even with preschoolers about differences between boys and girls, privacy, and God’s design for families. This open dialogue answers a child’s question only as far as they need to know but teaches kids that they can talk to their parents about these issues and that differences are part of God’s design.
As children move into the elementary years it’s good to talk more about biology and the growth of a baby inside of a mother and that God designed the process of pregnancy and birth.
By preadolescence it’s important to talk about intercourse, privacy, the biology of pregnancy, and the God-given gift of sex within the confines of a marriage relationship. It’s also important to talk to kids about how to relate to the opposite sex. Differences are fun but need to be handled carefully.
During adolescence it’s important to keep an open dialogue with your kids about sex, biology, and the God-design planned for reproduction and sexual intimacy. Although kids are often hesitant to talk with their parents about this subject during the teen years, parents can do a lot to initiate an open dialogue with their teens.
What are the areas we should talk about? Although the material you cover is partly determined by the child’s age and interest, here are some basic things you want to consider as you talk with your children.
First, use the correct anatomical terms for body parts. Second, talk about social relationships between boys and girls. You want to encourage healthy dialogue between guys and gals within limits. The reality is that girls and boys think and act differently and that makes for interesting interaction. That’s not only okay. It’s good.
However, sometimes the interaction turns into flirting and experimentation. Privacy, sexual jokes, teasing, and touching games are part of the social interaction you’ll want to discuss. Be careful about your own teasing in the area of relationships. Young people can become quite sensitive and self-conscious. You’ll want to be honoring and affirming as you talk about this sensitive subject.
Third, talk about values that influence sexual decisions and God’s design and plan for marriage, sex, and family. It’s important for children of all ages to realize that living within God’s guidelines for sexual purity produces the healthiest and strongest marriage relationships and avoids many emotional problems that come with sexual promiscuity.
