Session 1 – Honor: The Secret Ingredient for Family Life
The concept of honor is introduced with a practical definition. Honor means treating people as special, doing more than what’s expected, and having a good attitude. Parents are given specific suggestions for teaching children how to treat people as special. The session includes a story of how Dr. Turansky’s son, Josh, honored him with a special meal. Ephesians 6:2-3 is used. A spiritual application concludes this session asking people to consider their relationship with God as their Heavenly Father.
Session 2 – Helping Children Add Energy to Family Life (Instead of Draining It)
Introducing this session, Dr. Turansky tells the story of Mike who learns a surprising lesson by doing more than what’s expected. Children are taught how to add energy back into family life instead of draining it. Practical suggestions are given for teaching children to do more than what’s expected. Ideas include honoring others while setting the table, the importance of cleaning the corners, not just getting by, and how to show honor when you leave the bathroom. Matthew 5:38-45 is used. Four suggestions for dealing with a bad attitude are also presented.
Session 3 – Dealing with Whining and Complaining
Whining and complaining are dishonoring. Children are taught that there are two kinds of people in the world, whiners and solvers. Whiners focus on the problem. Solvers concentrate on the solution. Two biblical alternatives are presented for whining and complaining. “Obey first and then we’ll talk about it” is illustrated in scripture with people like Abraham, Peter, and Philip. A “wise appeal” is illustrated through the life of Daniel, Esther, and Nehemiah. Parents learn how they sometimes contribute to their children’s whining and learn several practical ways to address it.
Session 4 – The Solution Isn’t Just Bigger Consequences
Four goals are presented to help parents solve parenting problems. First, parents learn to be practical, helping their children know exactly what to do, not just what not to do. Second, the parents are challenged to work toward heart change in children, not just behavior change. Third, parents are encouraged to use the scriptures in day-to-day life with their children. Fourth, parents are encouraged to develop adult solutions to children’s problems so that children can grow into mature responses that will strengthen them for the rest of their lives.
Session 5 – Parenting with Honor #1: Being Firm Without Being Harsh
Honor is a two-way street. Children need to honor their parents, but parents also need to learn to honor their children. Parents often fall into extremes in parenting. Either they become too lenient, wanting to please their children, or they become too strict and overly controlling. Honor-based parenting requires a number of skills, and since many parents don’t have a good history with honor in their own family growing up, these skills provide a helpful framework. This session focuses on one skill, “Being firm without being harsh.” Parents learn that firmness sets a boundary that won’t be crossed without a consequence. Harshness pours emotional intensity into that limit to try to convince a child that you mean business. Suggestions are given for handling bedtimes. With a tighter action point and clearer consequences, parents can replace their harshness with honor.
Session 6 – Parenting with Honor #2: When Parents Change, Kids Change
Three more honor-based parenting skills are presented in this session. “Use sorrow instead of anger in the discipline process” reflects the way God grieves when we sin against him as mentioned in Ephesians 4:30. “Use decision-making and problem-solving to teach honor” helps parents know when to step in and how to use common everyday experiences in the teaching process. And “Envision a positive future” helps parents to focus on the positive qualities in their children so they can encourage their kids with a preview of a successful future. Jesus is used as a model of balance.
Session 7 – A Special Gift
Can you honor your family too much? Yes, we believe you can. A family can become so inwardly focused that it encourages selfishness. The solution is to work as a family to give honor away. Then children see that their family has a special gift that they can pass on to others. A family actually grows closer together as they learn to reach out with honor. Practical ideas are shared of how a family can show honor to others.
Session 8 – Sibling Conflict #1: A Plan for Anger in Children
This session focuses on the first of three roadblocks to sibling harmony – anger. A plan for anger management is presented, and then parents are reminded that honor means adding something more. In Matthew 5:9, Jesus talks about being a peacemaker. Children are encouraged to see their own anger coming on and deal with it appropriately, then look for ways to bring peace into relationships as well.
Session 9 – Sibling Conflict #2: When Children Want to be First or Best
Selfishness or “wanting to be first or best” is one of the greatest enemies of honor. Two guys who wanted the best seat approached Jesus. His answer was, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.” This session helps parents develop servant attitudes in their children. In particular the common complaint children raise is “That’s not fair.” Parents learn that fair doesn’t mean equal and that they can cut down on a lot of the competitiveness and comparison in children by treating them all uniquely as God does us. Several practical ideas are presented that help parents know how to teach children about servanthood.
Session 10 – Sibling Conflict #3: When Children are Foolish or Mean
The third roadblock to sibling harmony is foolishness: the inability to see how present actions will result in negative consequences. Meanness is discussed because children who are mean don’t realize the value of their brothers and sisters and don’t see how their actions are damaging relationships. Parents learn to see foolishness in their children when kids say things like, “I was only kidding,” or “I didn’t mean to hurt him.” The solution is to help children become wise. Verses from the book of Proverbs are shared to help parents see the importance and value of teaching children wisdom. Parents learn to address foolishness by teaching children to take responsibility, accept correction, anticipate consequences, and avoid meanness.
Session 11 – Teens + Honor = Success
Family life changes when children become teenagers. The causes and purpose of these changes are discussed in this session. Parents are encouraged to make the Teenage Parenting Shift. A helpful discipline technique is presented from the parable of the talents (Matthew 25). When the landowner returned he rewarded the servants who were responsible by giving more privileges. That principle can be applied to teens as the primary discipline technique: privilege and responsibility go together. Parents are encouraged to use honor to build bridges with teenagers.
Session 12 – Mapping Your Family Dynamics
In this session the Network Factor is described, a tool used to change the way families interact. All relationships have predictable patterns. Some are helpful and others are not. Parents are taught to look closely at the patterns in their family and encouraged to target the relationships that need more honor. Triangling happens in relationships when two people in conflict draw another one into the fray. Triangling happens more than many parents realize. Using the Network Factor, parents learn to identify negative relating patterns and replace them with honoring ones.
Session 13 – Developing a Team Attitude
Honor comes when we value each other. This session talks about viewing our children as brothers and sisters in Christ. When families grasp this truth, they see the tremendous value of children and parents. Several practical ideas are shared to help families grow closer together as a team.