Using The Power of Relationship

As parents, we often face the challenge of strained relationships with our children, especially when they’re going through difficult phases or exhibiting challenging behavior. It’s easy for tension and distance to build up, leaving both parent and child feeling disconnected. But the Bible gives us a powerful strategy for addressing this issue: strengthening relationship.

Watch this video of Dr. Turansky talking about the power of relationship.

The Power of Relationship

Many parents believe that just because we all live under the same roof we have a good relationship. More insightful parents recognize the need to keep this relationship strong. Sometimes, when dealing with a child’s behavior, we become so focused on correction and discipline that we neglect the importance of connection.

God models the value of relationship for us in the way He relates to us. Just as God begins His work in our hearts by fostering a relationship with us, we, too, can use the power of relationship to soften our children’s hearts and guide them toward growth.

One of the most effective ways to strengthen your bond with your child is by finding something you both enjoy. Whether it’s playing a game, sharing a joke, or just listening to them, small moments of connection can make a big difference. By doing this, you’re not only creating memories but also sending an important message: “We’re in this together.”

When you connect with your child, follow up with a statement that emphasizes togetherness using the words “we” and “together” in the same sentence. For example, saying, “We sure get a lot of things done when we work together, don’t we?” or “We love to laugh together!” reinforces the idea that you’re a team. This simple shift in language helps your child see that you’re not on opposite sides, even when you’re working through tough issues.

Why Relationship Matters

The Bible emphasizes the importance of love and relationship in many passages. In 1 Peter 4:8, we’re reminded: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” This verse is so fitting for parenting. No child is perfect, and no parent is either. But when we lead with love, it helps smooth over the inevitable bumps and mistakes along the way.

When there’s tension in a relationship, children are more likely to respond with defiance, anger, or withdrawal. However, when the relationship is strong, children feel safe, respected, and more open to guidance. This doesn’t mean we avoid correction—far from it. Firmness is crucial for building character. But firmness without relationship creates frustration, while firmness within the context of a loving relationship builds respect and understanding.

One mother shared how focusing on relationship transformed her interaction with her 12-year-old adopted daughter. Every night, they would read aloud together, and one evening, the mom made a simple comment, “We sure enjoy reading together, don’t we?” They had a brief discussion in which they relished the characters and plot of the story.

The next day, her daughter, who had never shown much physical affection, rested her head on her mom’s lap during their reading time. This was a breakthrough—a direct result of prioritizing their relationship.

Relationship is Key to Passing on Values

One of the greatest benefits of a strong parent-child relationship is the ability to pass on values and convictions. When children feel loved and connected, they’re more receptive to the lessons we want to teach them. On the other hand, if the relationship is strained, those important life lessons can fall on deaf ears.

Think about your relationship with God. It’s through His love and relationship with us that we are drawn to Him and His ways. Similarly, by nurturing our relationship with our children, we create an environment where they can learn and grow in both character and faith.

Building a strong relationship with your child is foundational to effective parenting. It softens their hearts, helps you guide them through difficult moments, and allows you to pass on the values and convictions that matter most. As 1 Peter 4:8 reminds us, love covers a multitude of sins, and by investing in our relationship with our children, we lay the groundwork for lasting change and growth.

Take time today to connect with your child—whether it’s through a shared activity, a simple conversation, or just spending time together. As you nurture this bond, you’ll find that even the hardest challenges can be overcome when approached in the context of a loving relationship.

Share in the comments some ways you like to connect with your child. It just might give others ideas as well.

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